I feel like I’m out the other side.

For the longest time I hated myself, it wasn’t until just recently that I was set free from that anchor. I remember growing up I used to hide behind humor and act out to feel as if I was somebody. Everything was better if I was making others laugh; If I was appeasing. Making sure nobody was sad, and nobody was struggling, all In exchange for me to suffer.

For the majority, there has always been this gap between who I wanted to be and who I saw when a picture was taken of me. 

I’ve 

 always 

 hated 

 having 

 my 

 picture 

 taken.

 It’s like having a refresh in your mind of how what other people see you like isn’t even what/who you thought you were.

This is the first time I’ve genuinely loved a photo of myself taken outside of my own hands. It comes in a very symbolic and growth-filled part of my life. A time of great isolation. 

I spent so much time exploring myself through others’ appeasement and emotions that I never got to understand who Steven was outside of other’s recollection.

It lead me to be hyper-fixated on how I was perceived and created this crippling anxiety and malice for the world admittedly I put a lot of people in the crosshairs. That is a mixture of internal rage and trauma.

 But for the first time in my life, I feel as if who I am has been presented to me in all its clarity, all on a Segway of satisfaction. I finally like me, and my favorite part is it’s the me I’ve always wanted people to see and interact with. 

 “S7eev” started as a persona to explore myself through art without feeling like I had to put myself out there for the world to interact with.
Now a manifestation of being at peace with myself: emotionally, spiritually, physically, and confidently.

 Lately, it has shown up in, my relationships, my craft, my temperament, and my gratitude. This set of pictures was the final seal on letting me know, I’m exactly where I need to be.