“Dude I think you’re depressed.”

I can’t believe you’d put that on me, but why so suddenly? I’ve felt as if everything had been on this upward trend. I know I’m exaggerating but I’ve been starting to have doubt about this new perspective of “not tolerating certain things from my self.” 

Is being selective and having an ego worth the sea of dissonance it produces because you make others uncomfortable? I don’t think so. I’m at this reunion experiencing the fallout the lack of my large personality usually would have caused. Good god, is it uncomfortable.

“What’s wrong”

“Your energy is weird”

“Are you not having a good time?”

No I’m just a different person. I don’t like acting out to be the center of attention anymore. I don’t like how that kid in me did that to be seen to escape his home. So I don’t have to do that anymore in life, I am way more fascinated with exuding gravity. Making an intimate situation with me made worth while. I get to be the wall flower but people are curious for me, and when they find me they get a home.

Yeah but people who once knew you… they don’t like that. It’s a big shift, I remember hearing something about having a bigger ego.

Is this that?

Fuck.