“You’re a very complex person”


Some more than others. I have repeated this aimless walking into the practice of letting others speak more than I do. The findings alarming, as everyone jostles for this spotlight; only getting upset when others are in it.



What is that phenomenon? A feeling comparable to rotting fruit, as you watch someone become detested by the lateral space you occupy. Is it my fault for touching every side of the metaphorical “box”? Or, there’s for refusing to invest and grow? 



I am not sure, but I find I grow more fearful of these people. As I watch them sour at scale and initiative something churns deep within them. A kind of hatred I have never seen before. At least, I know so to be because it would seem they don’t want what I have, rather want me gone because I tend to be a spotlight. One that illuminates the dark, decrepit edges of others.



It is that growth in myself that scares me. Will I be left to isolation because of how bright my light shines? Or will someone be there to accept me? A paradigm I float in like a flag in the breeze, at mercy by my perceived self.



Stevie who are you? Who are you supposed to be, and why Is that so alarming for so many people? Yet, at the same time so welcoming for so many people?



Should… I be concerned? For I fear this may be the end of the road for this friendship.